The Missing Episode Z
by Stonedecker
Summary: Before the events of 'Recovery One', Washington had the misfortune of visiting 'Blood Gulch Outpost 1-B' with tragic consequences. Washington dies and is respawned inside of the 'Orbital' map, unarmed, after meeting up with the Blood Gulch chronicle's characters, who explain that no weapons, nor flags have respawned. Putting their differences aside, they decide to work together...


(I was watching a T.V. commercial for Halo: the Master Chief Collection on X-box One (owned by Bungie) that reminded me that when I was living in Texas, trying to be a voice actor, I heard from the grapevine about Red verses Blue (owned by Rooster Teeth Productions) adding new characters after season 5, and I tried to audition for any role available, which of course I didn't get (didn't even get past the front door). Anyways, I started watching season 6 online and quite likely, thought it went off the rails of what the show was about and stopped watching the show. Yet, I began writing a fan-script, in which is how I would have like the direction of the show to have gone after season 5. So, please forgive how dated it is, but I did post it on Myspace, before it lost Myspace lost it and where I thought I put it, in case I need to repost it or find a better place to put it online, wasn't where I thought it was. Lucky for me, finally found it in an unpack box still left over from my move to Las Vegas.)

RvB: The Missing Episode Z

By

DeMichael, Hal

The camera fades in to show an exterior shoot of Blood Gulch, where Grif is standing next to the warthog and Washington is underneath it, apparently trying to fix it. For no apparent reason, Grif starts to rock the warthog, until the jack gives out and crushes Washington, who was lying under it.

Grif says, "Opps, that is one more thing, I am sure, Sarge is going to blame on me. Wonder, if I can frame Simmons for this?"

The screen fades to black.

Simmons says in a voice over, "Great, Grif, now who are we going to get to fix the warthog's transmission."

Grif says in a voice over, "Why did you jump to the conclusion that I killed Washington. I just found him that way."

Sarge asks in a voice over, "How can you tell us it was an accident, when you pull this shit all the time and put us all at risk from friendly fire every time a gun is in your hands? Already at risk of the Blues killing us, when one of them sees you, without a gun is in your hands."

Simmons says in a voice over, "Definitely, not going to be you, we can't really trust you with that. Maybe there is a manual lying around the base or we can get in sent to us with our next supplies."

Grif asks in a voice over, "Why would you put that on the forms, when you can put down another mechanic?"

The opening credits appear on the screen as they would on the series. The camera fades in to show an interior shoot, inside the 'Orbital' map. Washington is walking around and taking in his surroundings.

Washington says, "Okay, this place does not look like what people said Heaven would look like, but at least I am finally away from those idiots I was in the same squadron with. You'd think there'd be angels or something."

The camera pans away from Washington to show: Sarge, Grif, and Simmons, who are apparently doing nothing else than standing around waiting for something to happen to them. Washington walks up to them.

Simmons says, "About time you got here."

Washington asks, "What is he doing here? He killed me."

Sarge says, "I knew it. Lying piece of filth."

Grif asks, "Wait, wait, if I killed you, you think I would've ended up in Heaven, too?"

Washington asks, "And that is another thing, you were all alive, before I died, how did you get here before me?"

Simmons says, "Turns out, the accident put you in a coma. We actually thought you were going to pull through then we died. Guess the machines keeping you alive finally gave out from neglect."

Washington asks, "So, how did you all die, blue team?"

Sarge says, "Like I would go out like that."

Simmons says, "It was the weirdest thing, all the planets grew out of control, like they were all on hyped up on crack or something then made the planet's atmosphere almost completely oxygen and carbon dioxide."

Washington asks, "So, you all died from carbon dioxide poisoning?"

Simmons says, "Worse than that, we burned, because the atmosphere became flammable, like overnight. All it took was one shootout with the blues and we all died."

Washington asks, "So everyone on the planet died?"

The camera zooms out as Church, Tucker, Caboose, Donut, Tex, and Sister circle up on them.

Church says, "Yep, so we ended with a draw."

Sarge says, "We didn't end in a draw, we won…"

The sound of a car horn seems to come out of nowhere in particular.

Washington asks, "There is a warthog here too?"

Simmons says, "Nope that was the censors."

Washington asks, "Censors?"

Caboose says, "We are still looking for them. The aliens that abducted us…"

Tex says, "And gave Donut the anal probes."

Donut says, "Hey, I never got anal probed."

Caboose says, "Well, can't seem to find anyone, but us here. I miss Blood Gulch. Thought for sure they would've attacked us, after we agree to fight together, instead of ourselves."

Church says, "What is even worse than Caboose being half right seems there is no cussing, where ever here is. If this Heaven, I rather be in Hell where I can at least swear. Still can't believe I lost the coin toss for being leader."

Tucker says, "Sure, you are."

Grif says, "Reason, I always call heads when Sarge tosses a coin up in the air. He always uses a two headed coin."

Sarge says, "Shut up…"

The sound of a fog horn seems to come out of nowhere in particular.

Washington says, "I saw the fog on the way in, but that is the first time I heard a fog horn."

Simmons, says, "You must have really made him mad, Grif. He usually just calls us maggots."

Church says, "Can't curse, swear, and can't die. Try to kill someone and you two get re-spawned on the opposite side of the room."

Donut says, "Hold on, I want to get back to all the…"

The sound of an old timey phone ringing seems to come out of nowhere in particular.

Donut says, "Gay jokes that I had to put up with all these years."

Washington says, "Oh, wait; I see how you can't curse, now. You get interrupted if you try to say…"

The sound of a car's ignition sequence seems to come out of nowhere in particular.

Simmons says, "He got it faster than Caboose."

Washington asks, "So, what have you guys been doing for fun, if you can't steal flags from each other?"

Donut says, "A whole lot of…"

The sound of an old timey phone ringing seems to come out of nowhere in particular.

Donut says, "Gay jokes."

Sarge says, "This one has been trying to redecorate."

Donut asks, "See, what I been putting up with?"

The screen fades to black.

Washington says in a voice over, "Sounds more like a waiting room than Heaven."

Caboose says in a voice over, "Maybe we are in that place, purgatory. You know where you wait to be re-spawned."

Church says in a voice over, "Reincarnated, Caboose."

Caboose says in a voice over, "That too…"

Tex says in a voice over, "No, we are in Hell having to listen to Caboose for the rest of eternity for lack of better entertainment."

The camera fades in to show an exterior shoot of Blood Gulch, where Grif and Simmons are next to the warthog and Washington is lying underneath it. Grif starts to rock the warthog, until Washington gets out from underneath it and up to his feet.

Washington says, "I must have fallen asleep, after fixing..."

Grif and Simmons jumps into the warthog and drive away.

Washington says, "... it up. That whole carbon dioxide poisoning thing seemed like a dream, anyways. I think I will go do some laundry, now. Then, I will stop talking to myself. No, fuck that I will go walk around naked. Yea, that will show them, for hiding all my clean uniforms. Maybe they will stop, treating me... Like a child. Show them I have a pair."

The sound of the radio turning on seems to come out of nowhere in particular.

Sarge says in a voice over, "Time for some target practice. Where's Grif?"

Washington says, "Oh, I don't know…"

Sarge says in a voice over, "Say again. I didn't get your last message, Maggot."

Washington says, "Oh, Grif. Him. He is on watch, protecting our flag from those got awful Blues. Actually, he just took over my watch, about a minute or two ago. So, I am on break, just about to grab something to eat and you should find Grif, well around the flag."

Sarge says in a voice over, "Does me and him no good to take him off watch, so congratulations, you are the Grif, until he is off watch."

Washington asks, "Wait, what? You can't do that. You don't have like a magic ball that you can throw at people and if they catch it, they magically, suddenly, and for no good reason becomes Grif, even if you hate him the most and the rest of us are on a sliding scale below him on the list of people you hate more than Grif. Grif is on top of the list, again, because you hate him the most and it isn't good enough that he is in the title of the list, no, he has to be on the top of said list too. We ran out of concussion grenades and they are on the resupply list, because you keep on throwing them at Grif and then yelling at him to drop on it. And to top it all off, you still refuse to tell us why, you center him out for all your hate. Give it a rest why don't you?"

Sarge says in a voice over, "That gives me a great idea, but for now grab me some paint and meet me at the target range, for some target practice."

The screen fades to black. The sound of gunfire seems to come comes out of nowhere in particular.

Sarge says in a voice over, "Bulls-eye. That should remind him to not give me long winded speaks or he'll move to the top of my list."

The sound of gunfire seems to come out of nowhere in particular.

Sarge says in a voice over, "Second to the top. I sure hate Grif that sorry excuse for an enlisted man."

The sound of gunfire seems to come out of nowhere in particular. Sarge laughs. The end credits appear on the screen as they would on the series.


End file.
